It's Okay Not To Be Okay

I'm currently sat writing this post on my phone on the train back from the most loveliest day with my best friend. It was so nice to just do something nice and have some time to be able to do that. I have had some of the most testing few weeks I'll tell ya. Everything's gone to shit to put it bluntly and I'm not going to pretend it's fine cus it's not. It's a big fat pile of shit! And It's okay. It's okay that everything's going wrong and I'm mentally and physically ill at the moment because it's only going to last for a moment.

Something that I've taken hold of from having depression is that I refuse point blank refuse to get stuck in that cycle ever again. I don't care what I'm going through I will not get back there. I'm not saying I'm never gonna cry or let myself feel sad anymore but it's learning when to pick yourself back up again and know that your worth and your life is more important than this. Whatever it is. You are more important!

your life is more important than how ever big you think the problem is, it's not. It’s all about perspective. How many times have you felt like everything's falling apart and it’s shit and then it’s got better or you get a promotion or you find that job. I've learnt that everything takes time. Which is a very very hard lesson to learn and I've really struggled with especially over the past 5 years. No it’s not been easy but I think about who I was then compared to now and I am such a different person. I'm strong now, even when i think i'm not I really am. I remind myself everyday when I feel like I've failed myself because I didn't get the best grades and I haven't got the job I want, that look how far I have come in myself. And if you knew me about 5 years ago you would 10000% agree with me as well. I've really tried to invest more with my heart and with my soul rather than stressing so much on all these other things ( which admittedly I still do stress about just not as much lol )

What I'm trying to say is, it’s okay not to be okay. Things will get better, you've just got to believe they will be, which is the hardest part but most crucial. No one's going to be able to get you through a hard time but yourself. Its finding that inner strength to get you through and realising what’s important in life and what's worth living for.